letters across time
to the city that raised me
the ghost of me
o athens,
waiting for the rain to wash away your sins
where i can drive home by mistake
without thinking, without looking.
uphill to the supermarket,
where i know the cashier,
and where to find anything on the shelves.
my hairdresser in the corner,
i can’t remember her real name,
and she doesn’t know mine.
but she calls me “love,”
and i tell her about you every other week.
the dry cleaner, next door,
i could paint you their sign,
yellow and white and deep blue.
an abandoned house,
the holes in the door let the air in,
a perfect picture of my heart.
a graveyard of memories
and loud baby kittens.
downhill, the blurry sunset
and the park where i used to walk my dog.
back home, i put the key in the lock,
it doesn’t work,
it’s not mine anymore.
it is haunted by ghosts
and a vision of me crying on my knees,
the door still half open behind me.
it is haunted by hope,
and a hologram of me painting on the sofa,
the window drapes closed all the way down.
my forgotten plant on the balcony
cannot recall my scent.
the paint-chipped wall,
like a bullet through my head.
i forgot to change the lightbulb.
now you’ll have to wait in the dark,
my dear, dear heart.
from the past, with love
hot chocolate,
and people running around,
loud, as they always are here.
it’s one of those rare, gloomy days.
i’m sure you have your share of them
where you are.
the sun will be back soon here.
is it sunny where you are?
is it loud?
do you feel alive?
the smell of the past,
the one you used to love,
fills the room.
the basil is not from grandma’s garden,
but the scent could take you there.
do you feel alive,
far away from here?
did you make a life where you are?
i am paused here, waiting for you
only seasons are able to change,
not frozen women.
you’re still the same here,
with me.
i carry you in my heart
and in my hot cup of evening tea.
you are so incredible and i want a book with your heart words on my shelf asap 🩷