i just wanna bury my heart in the garden

yearning & other dangerous acts

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The “Yearning & Other Dangerous Acts” series is a devotional to desire & nature. Each piece begins with a longing so deep it fractures reality, letting the mythic leak through.

In ten parts, I float down the river of yearning: I Just Wanna Eat the Sun, I Just Wanna See the Air, I Just Wanna Kiss the Moon, I Just Wanna Touch the Earth, I Just Wanna Drink the Sea, I Just Wanna Steal the Stars, I Just Wanna Braid the River’s Hair, I Just Wanna Bury My Heart in the Garden, I Just Wanna Howl at the Moon with the Wolves, I Just Wanna Set the Sky on Fire.

Receive these poems as acts of becoming. Of setting yourself aflame in order to know what it means to burn, and still bloom.

Welcome to the yearning. Step in barefoot, read it loud, scream if you need to.
Above all, want freely.

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Psyche Opening the Door into Cupid's Garden, John William Waterhouse

i just wanna bury my heart in the garden.
i wanna reach my hands deep in my chest and take her out.
i just wanna bury my heart in the dirt.
it hurts too much being left in my chest.
she needs a bigger pot.

i just wanna bury my heart in the garden,
dig until my hands are raw,
plant my heartbreak like tulip bulbs.
i just wanna bury my heart in the garden,
light up a cigarette and wait for spring,
wait for forgiveness,
to see her bloom.

i just wanna bury my heart in the garden
next to roses and magnolias,
next to cherry and apple trees,
next to grape
and tomato vines.

i just wanna bury my heart in the garden.
i wanna take out the weeds every week.
i want to see if she remembers the names
as she bleeds.
next to basil and lavender,
next to jasmine and our fig tree.

i just wanna bury my heart in the garden.
i can hear her screaming.
i just wanna bury my heart in the garden
and eat her fruit next spring.
it will probably taste like pomegranate and grief.

i just wanna bury my heart in the garden,
water it every now and then
when the rain forgets to come.
i just wanna bury my heart in the garden.
i bet forget-me-nots will wanna hug her.

i just wanna bury my heart in the garden.
she has never felt the sun on her skin.